Dear Adam Sandler: I adore you. I thought you were brilliant in Punch-Drunk Love. I actually really enjoyed your Happy Madison Productions movies Anger Management and The House Bunny. Heck, I even giggled more than once during Billy Madison. But (and this is a big, big but) I can't stay a fan if you continue to put out terrible movies year after year. I just can't. Movies are simply too expensive and in this economy, I've got to be super careful about where I spend my money. So I implore you, please stop with the assembly line junk. At the moment, I've just finished perusing reviews for your latest Happy Madison movie Jack and Jill. And they're horrible. I like a good slapstick comedy as much as anyone, but I can't risk spending my hard-earned cash on something that's (apparently) this awful.

How bad are the Jack and Jill movie reviews, you ask? At last check, the movie had a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Zero. Goose egg. That's actually a feat that isn't easy to accomplish. Surely there's one critic on Earth who likes this film, right? So far, no, there's not. After slamming Happy Madison's other 2011 offerings (Zookeeper and Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star), the critics appear to have had enough. These three films alone will likely be front runners for the 2011 Razzies. Golden Raspberries all the way around... hurrah!
Even Al Pacino and Katie Holmes can't make Jack and Jill better, it seems. If anything, it just makes the whole thing more upsetting. How can Pacino be bad?! It's almost like Sandler wants to see how low he can go and still get me to pay up to laugh at fart jokes. So, Mr. Sandler, please, I implore you again: Stop with the craptastical films, okay? Or at least get them straight to video or something. You'd be doing me, and my wallet, a huge favor.
Has anyone seen Jack and Jill yet? Is it really as bad as the reviews? I'd love to hear your reviews!